Pondering...

I was talking to an old high school friend the other day, and congratulated him on his recent marriage. We talked about married life for a bit, and then, came the inevitable: the question I am almost always asked. “Aren’t you married or engaged yet? Why not?”

It baffles me that, first of all, people feel so comfortable as to pry into your private life like that. I could be gay and unable to get married for all they know. Or I could have plans to join a convent, dedicate my life to God, and never get married. Maybe I just went through a horrible break up and I am anti-men for the time being. Or maaaaaybe, possibly, perhaps, perchance, I dare say.…I am way too YOUNG and don’t WANT to be married! I just turned 22 years old, and I just graduated college. I’m not done doing all the fun things that people in their 20’s do! I want to sleep in late and party all night and maybe kiss a cute guy I meet at a bar! Or do whatever I want without having to fill someone in on my whereabouts! Why, at my age, do I want to ‘play house’ and have dinner on the table at 6 for when my husband walks through the door, briefcase in hand? Yes, of course, I would like to do that SOMEday…but today is not the day. Yes of course I want a beautiful house and a few children and a good 9-5 job and a nice big SUV for soccer games on the weekends….just not yet. It’s so odd to think that the two girls I nanny for are actually younger than the children of some of my old classmates. Vittoria and Chiara could, theoretically, be MY daughters. That thought freaks me out and that’s why I’m not ready for marriage and children yet!

In addition to that, I always wonder about married couples who were 'high-school sweethearts'. Couples who dated all through high school (or even before), all through college and after, and eventually got married. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, as this is the situation with my own brother and his wife. But couples like this, who say they are with their 'soul-mate'....how do they know this person is their soulmate, if this is the only person they've ever been with? They've never left the town that they grew up in, never got the chance to meet other people, and now they are married to their 'soulmate'...as if they have searched the world twice over to find them. I just don't get it.

Think about it. Most people live to be about 85, 90, even 100 years old these days. That means if you get married even as late as 35, you still have 50 PLUS years with this person! What is the rush!? So many people I went to high school with have started having children, or have gotten married, or both! If that’s what they truly want and they are truly happy with their life, well, I am happy for them. I just can’t do it yet. There are so many things I want to do…so many things I want to see. There are too many opportunities in the world for me to push them aside for a walk down the aisle and a baby registry at Target. I know this may sound preachy, or cliché, but the world is literally at everyone’s fingertips…so why not grab it! I know it’s expensive to travel, and I don’t come from the wealthiest of families, but I’ve been able to manage. And now that I’ve spent some time in Europe, I’ve realized just how easy it is to travel. And it’s so addicting!

Take author Elizabeth Gilbert, for example. You may have heard of a little book she wrote: “Eat, Pray, Love”, that is being turned into a major-motion picture starring Julia Roberts and part of it is being filmed in Naples, right now, as I type this. On Gilbert’s website, she talks of the days when she would literally travel the world on a waitress’s paycheck. She would work her ass off, picking up every single shift she could, and in 6 months time she would have enough money to travel wherever she wanted for a couple of weeks. Yea, she gave up having things like nice clothes and a nice car, but it’s all about what’s more important to you. My point is this: traveling is not such a far-fetched idea. Anyone can get a passport, anyone can save up and buy a plane ticket, anyone can book a hotel room. A week in Rome is not just a dream – it’s a reality. It can be anybody’s reality.

I know all of this has nothing to do with me sharing my life as a nanny with you. But, in a roundabout way, it has absolutely everything to do with it. If I had done what most girls I graduated with did...who knows where I'd be. I probably would have had a baby right out of highschool (or even while in highschool.) I might be married. I would have never gone to a University, thus never getting the chance to study abroad, thus never finding out about the chances of being an Au Pair in Europe. It scares me to think I may have never gotten these oppurtunities! Without rambling too much I just want to conclude by saying a few things. First of all, if you have started having children or have gotten married at a young age, I’m not dissing you. I’m truly happy for you if you are happy for yourself. That’s just not the life for me – not right now, anyways. So when people say to me, “But you’re such a pretty girl, how could you be single!?” I just let them know that it is my CHOICE to be like this, that this is the lifestyle I have chosen, and that being a free spirit and being independent and traveling and writing and meeting people from all over the world and learning a new language is the most important thing in my life right now. The house with the picket fence and the babies and the mortgage and all that fun stuff can come later. Much, much later.

Buona Giornata!